The end result of boundaries vs ultimatums is the same, there will be consequences to someone’s actions based on how you will respond. The only difference is in the softness of tone in delivery to make it more palatable for the other person. It’s tone policing the offended person’s way of expressing their feelings about the offender’s actions. It’s the violators way of avoiding guilt and shame for what they did wrong because they can reverse victim order and make them the bad guy for not verbalizing their feelings in a more respectful way. #DARVO